Sunday, 28 September 2008

Career Counselling

I am now, more than ever before, aware of the rather delicate nature of this blog's expanded readership. Hence, I have quickly run a PG-13 filter on my blog with a few minor exceptions here and there left for sake of preserving the blog's true character.

In case you ever try to search for my blog through google, you may come across a blog put up by a fine gentleman who happens to share my name and an eerily similar web address. He chooses to post the choicest of home made hindi poetry and pictures of south indian actresses in various states of dress, undress and duress. This is to confirm that the only blog I run is the one you are currently reading. I would leave a link here but mine is now a PG-13 blog.

I have blogged earlier (here) about how my name has been subject to much torture and mirth. Well it seems the world hasnt had enough and they have created this. It encapsulates why I often silently hope my friends, who twisted my name out of recognition, be stricken by bubonic plague. May Allah never forgive them.

In other news.....I have watched, from what I hope is a safe distance, with mild amusement, the fall of US investment banks and other financial institutions. Now most of these banks etc are these really posh institutions who only recruit the best of brains from the best of colleges then reject half of them and then pay, those who remain, a ransom of a salary. Yet all these sharp people come together and create a mess so big that not only it takes their company under but the entire worlds economy with it. Its an old adage that if you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. It turn out even if you pay gold nuggets, the result is not much different. This reminds me of a statement by one of the geniuses of our times, Scot Adams. He says, " Essentially, we are all stupid".

But we know these investment bankers are really smart people with versatile skill sets. Here are a few alternative career suggestions for these out of work bankers. An assorted list of various openings still there in the market:

a. Bollywood scriptwriters: You know you have a story to tell. Why not let the world know about it. Its anyways a non existent position in bollywood, so you can have the first mover advantage. Its widely believed that the scripts for such great movies like Ram Teri Ganga Maili, Paraya Dhan, The Great Gambler, Is raat ki subah nahin was written by erstwhile bankers. 

b. Writer of self help books: The world is nothing but a set of people waiting to be conned by the next self help book. How to win friends and influence people, 15 ways to better self esteem could well be books written by you.

c Judge/Participant at television reality shows: As a participant you may be unceremoniously thrown out without any notice and left teary eyed but you have experience now in this regard. As a judge you may be asked to evaluate things you have no idea about after talking endlessly about it and there again you have experience on your side. 

d. Paris Hilton's new boyfreind: There are several positions here that you would like to take up but PG-13 prohibits further job description.    

e. Get adopted by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Theres an endless opening here it seems.

Any other suggestions/openings would be welcome on the comments page.

4 comments:

Quaintzy Patchez said...

Thank God, you're only advising investment bankers... maybe I should write about underpaid software engineers! lol

p.s: you were right about the other TV! :O

Quaintzy Patchez said...

Ok, how about "Turn into Software engineers"? They develop software so that they do people's share of work and lead to downsizing (i heard it was renamed "rightsizing"?). A great way to give a vent to your frustration resulting from your idleness... its time for some revenge after all!

Life of Mi said...

efffff you!! that was for the investment bankers you ridiculed... just trying to stand up for the community. Am out of it though. Thankfully, not taken one of your suggestions.

BTW, the posts are coming out nice dude. Keep writing.

तुषार वर्मा said...

i thaink i haive written enough abt techies. So lets leave it at that.

GJ: thanks.Although im still stuck with paucity of ideas.Maybe this post came from some latent desire to be an ibanker myself....NOT!