Man: So, what do you look for in a man?
Woman: Well, he should be caring, sensitive, successful and above all, he should make me laugh.
Man: Thats three and a half men and two of them gay. What do you want in one?
One of the cruelest cliches perpetrated on mankind by womenotsokind has been the the whole, 'I'd like a man who makes me laugh etc.' routine. Cruel, because its as blatant a lie, if there ever was one. Its purpose is to throw off innocent guys who believing the lies, rack their brains for funny anecdotes while they marry the first investment banker or power magnet they meet. (Note how these two fail miserably on criteria 1,2 and 4 mentioned above). Its a clever ploy which works nicely.
Take for example, the two pictures below:
Now ask yourself, which one of these two is more likely to be gentle, funny and sensitive. And remember, Kareena had the choice.
"I could't hurt a fly b'cos I feel their pain"
"I had blackbucks for lunch
and I dont mean illegal money"
Or better still take the case of software engineers in Bangalore.
Are they caring?
Of course! they wear ultra-tight faded jeans so that others feel cool and comfortable around them.
Are they sensitive:
Yes. They move around in groups of ten or above talking loudly, so that your own worries are drowned in the din.
Are they successful:
Why else would their company give them a T-shirt which says, 'Global Embedded Technology Multimedia Worldwide Champions Conference'. They have success written all over them, literally.
Are they humourous:
Are you kidding me, they are a walking joke unto themselves. Imagine your funfilled life if you marry a techie,
'Honey, my new jeans has only eight zippers and seven pockets!
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Yet, what do you see? Poor techie guys spend half their non-work lives sitting in a row outside 'Forum Mall' watching one woman go after another with the meanest looking thugs, rockstar types and fat uncles.
For the benefit of my fellow men, let me dispel some myths regarding this whole caring-funny business:
A. Caring, Sensitive, gentle, loving etc: We men were not genetically designed to be all this nonsense and women know this. Remember we are the guys who gave the earth two world wars, holocaust, global warming, genocides, suicide bombing, sexually transmitted diseases etc. We dont have a caring bone in our body. Women, all too smart, use this to make you go running helter-skelter looking for qualities, nature didnt want you to have.
B. Sense of Humour: This is a double-edged sword. Most women look for this in men but not without laying down several pre-conditions. All sexist, racist, castiest, potty, lewd and sports jokes immediately disqualify you. It's stupid to even bother trying.
I would have proceeded to tell you what women really want but I have to rush to Forum to get good seats outside.
Woman: Well, he should be caring, sensitive, successful and above all, he should make me laugh.
Man: Thats three and a half men and two of them gay. What do you want in one?
One of the cruelest cliches perpetrated on mankind by womenotsokind has been the the whole, 'I'd like a man who makes me laugh etc.' routine. Cruel, because its as blatant a lie, if there ever was one. Its purpose is to throw off innocent guys who believing the lies, rack their brains for funny anecdotes while they marry the first investment banker or power magnet they meet. (Note how these two fail miserably on criteria 1,2 and 4 mentioned above). Its a clever ploy which works nicely.
Take for example, the two pictures below:
Now ask yourself, which one of these two is more likely to be gentle, funny and sensitive. And remember, Kareena had the choice.
"I could't hurt a fly b'cos I feel their pain"
"I had blackbucks for lunch
and I dont mean illegal money"
Or better still take the case of software engineers in Bangalore.
Are they caring?
Of course! they wear ultra-tight faded jeans so that others feel cool and comfortable around them.
Are they sensitive:
Yes. They move around in groups of ten or above talking loudly, so that your own worries are drowned in the din.
Are they successful:
Why else would their company give them a T-shirt which says, 'Global Embedded Technology Multimedia Worldwide Champions Conference'. They have success written all over them, literally.
Are they humourous:
Are you kidding me, they are a walking joke unto themselves. Imagine your funfilled life if you marry a techie,
'Honey, my new jeans has only eight zippers and seven pockets!
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Yet, what do you see? Poor techie guys spend half their non-work lives sitting in a row outside 'Forum Mall' watching one woman go after another with the meanest looking thugs, rockstar types and fat uncles.
For the benefit of my fellow men, let me dispel some myths regarding this whole caring-funny business:
A. Caring, Sensitive, gentle, loving etc: We men were not genetically designed to be all this nonsense and women know this. Remember we are the guys who gave the earth two world wars, holocaust, global warming, genocides, suicide bombing, sexually transmitted diseases etc. We dont have a caring bone in our body. Women, all too smart, use this to make you go running helter-skelter looking for qualities, nature didnt want you to have.
B. Sense of Humour: This is a double-edged sword. Most women look for this in men but not without laying down several pre-conditions. All sexist, racist, castiest, potty, lewd and sports jokes immediately disqualify you. It's stupid to even bother trying.
I would have proceeded to tell you what women really want but I have to rush to Forum to get good seats outside.
15 comments:
I'm sure not even one of every three and half women knew this was right :P
But then why do you have to rush to the Forum Mall?
The kind who know aren't found there :O
awesome man!!!! keep posting such quality blogs
Regards
Don
Are you leaving comments to yourself? :)
Nice one though..quite funny - esp the 3 and a half men line :)
patchez: women, too smart by half, know it all right.I went to Forum to put a sympathetic hand on techie friends' shoulders and tell them, 'yes, you're trying very hard.'
Don aka debo: thanks
SB:I, too, thought that 3.5 men line was funny and all the words before and after that line as well.I'm a funny man.
Good one :-)
But Mus say...."Imagine your funfilled life if you marry a techie" is a l'll unfair on the techies... They aren't that bad ....definitely not!
"one man raps all men rapist" lol. and Remember we are the guys who gave the earth two world wars, holocaust, global warming, genocides, suicide bombing, sexually transmitted diseases etc. we actually dont have a caring bone. i know a lot of guys (including papa banker) who have asked the girl to take a rick to her home after having good time together...
vp: yes i went a little overboard in those lines. didnt really mean it but thought it sounded funny.
vm:my back itches no more
Appearances can be deceptive. How do you know What Ms Kapoor must be going through with both these guys (no puns intended).
BTW, I am all for Mr Saif Ali Khan. 15 years ago he looked more like his current rival...and nobody even cast a second glance at him. Poor guy was forced to marry an aging has-been. Now just look at him.
I believe that we shall also go the same way. A blow dried youth will definitely make way for a greenery filled middle age. (!!)
Hey... how can you credit men for wars, stds, holocast etc? Thats sexist. :P
Hey... how can you credit men for wars, stds, holocast etc? Thats sexist. :P
Hey... how can you credit men for wars, stds, holocast etc? Thats sexist. :P
booger:how sexist am i that you had to send the comment thrice?
funny observations! and yes it is sexist but hey thats the fun part of it I guess.
How do you come up with all that ? pretty good stuff . I like the way you have projected S/W engineers. I sure did enjoy reading that part.
You should have written more on this. Good work.
This is the problem with you men!
All your humour consists of potty jokes, lewd jokes and sports jokes? You call that sense of humour?
We women are better than u lot.
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