Whats in a name? Die, Shakespeare

I am like the proverbial Hero's sister slinking into a dark corner, pleading to be left for bhagwaan. And you are the slowly taking off his shirt mustachoed villain announcing your intention to not leave me for anywhere( kaheen ka nahin).

The rape of my name continues unabated.

It started in my school in Australia, where my geogoraphy teacher insisted on calling me Tushan Keepat, making my name sound like some weird African country which her students couldnt locate.

Then in Lucknow/Delhi, my school/college friends decided to call me Tush, Tushi etc. making me a ripe target for jokes like, Tush- who needs a push and Tushi- you ***** etc.

Having survived all that and the subsequent MBA years,I was feeling fairly confident as I stepped onto sambhar-land for my first job. Little did I know that your best and my worst was yet to come.

Now the gentle folk of sambhar-land are mostly benign and peace loving.But they have an uncanny habit of giving a grotesque new look to your name while you are looking away. So, a Gaurav might become Ghaurzhavx and Dhruv, Djhruva.

Sure, I'm exaggerating a bit. But if your name was ever subjected to Tusar, Thusar, Thusara and Thoosara kind of torture, you will be cynical too. I shudder to imagine if, by some sadistic twist of fate, I were actually a sambharian from sambhar-land called Thoosara.In which case,it's unlikley, I would have ever made any friends.

Me: Hello, I'm Thoosara
You: Kitna sara? hrmph...kheen kheen...hehe.

And my career opportunities would certainly have been limited.

Interviewer: hmmm...so whats your name?
Me: Thoosara
Interviewer: Aoww, u spat on me...never mind. Father's name?
Me: Muthoo
Interviewer: Aoww...security guard...throw him out
Guard: Who?
Interviewer: Thoosara
Guard: aoww...u spat on me. I quit.
Interviewer: ok. You can take his job, Thoosara.
Me: aoww, Thank you Sir!