Food, only for thought

"Thou shalt become the animal thy shall devour"
-Joseph, New testament, Psalm 11:5
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My mom tells me that the first words I ever spoke were," Mom i'd like some kakori kebabs". Even in school I was often punished during the assembly because I would say,

"Our Father in heaven,
Give us this day our daily chicken wings,
Hallowed be thy name"

I figured if everyday we are going to stand here in a line and ask god for something, might as well ask for something worthwhile, if HE ever relents. The world has misunderstood me since.

Some strange folks (vegetarians) often tell me that chicken, goats, ducks, prawns and lobsters are all Gods creations and we must treat them with respect. You mean God created goats so that I could respect it? While millions go hungry, innocent lambs could prance around in grassy meadows? I always thought God created them so that I could have some great roomali and liver curry.

Im deliberately being insensitive here because Im distraught. Ive realised that these strange folks and even stranger folks (the converts) are right after all.

You see all these Gods wonderful creations that we often consume come with a lot of masala oil grease and fat. They have a tendency to stick around your tummy and waist and refuse to budge. Such was my condition as I made that painful pilgrimage to a local gym about a month back. Now a gym is a scary place. It is full of men and women who are grunting, screaming and huffing, secreting copious amounts of sweat which makes them smell like the goats and pigs they once consumed. (refer quote)

It was a glimpse of hell,and I looked like a frightened lamb (refer quote) but my trainer gently assured me.
Trainer: Anybody can have great abs by quitting rice, mutton,fast food,anything sweet, smoking and drinking.
Me: No sweat, eh!
Trainer: Sorry cant promise you that.

Trainers dont have a sense of humour and they ably demonstrate it while laying down your daily regimen. Ive spent the last month grunting and panting without an iota of difference and begging God for his forgiveness for each and every one his wonderful creation I mistakenly massacred on the dinner table.

It is therefore with a heavy heart I confess that I , tushar verma, am contemplating conversion.

"Our Father in heaven,
Give us this day our daily green leafy vegetables,
Hallowed be thy name"

Amen.