It's different

If this was Amit Varma's blog this entry would end right here.

People from all over send him all the interesting stuff and he hyperlinks away to glory on his blog aka ‘India Uncut and Paste’.

If this was a hidden identity blog like The Compulsively Constipated (an obliquely evident reference to eM) then I would talk about my bohemian banking lifestyle and search for sexual innuendoes in opening accounts, bouncing cheques, closing balances and 24-hr call centres.

If this was a techie blog. Shudder. It will never be.

Heavens forbid if this was a woman’s blog. Most women write the way they talk. Too much.

I will give you a talisman. Whenever you are in doubt about a blog’s gender and the self becomes too much, then follow this simple test and you will find all your doubts melting away. Recall the last blog you read. Did it go something like…

Yak yak yapp yap ratitottoo ti wooti tak tak tak …long word…longer word…yak yak yap yap…clichéd clichés …wapater hokti boo tak tak tak Yak yak yapp yap ratitottoo ti wooti tak tak tak …long word…longer word…yak yak yap yap…

Or , Did it have an exasperating rhyming scam disguised as a poem

“ Oh, the soul of those haunting eyes,
Intermingled with my cold sighs,
Searching for meaning in this existence,
Rodents are the cause of pestilence.”

If yes, you were reading a female blog.

If this was a humour blog ala Sidin Vadukut or Rahul Phondke, then why would I be trying so hard?

If this was just any other blog with a crackpot fake name like killerbazooka or flyingmongoose, where people ejaculate about the latest movie or book and then let it die a natural death only to come back intermittently and apologise for the hiatus. Then you would'nt be reading it. Er..You dont read this.

But because this is my blog, so I can do a brazen copy of everyone’s style and present a mish-mash of balderdash.