Life and Times of Sameer Wadhera

I normally do not take names of people I know on my blog, but my friend, SW needs help. He might look like a stale idli today but there was a time when he was a bright young MBA from Delhi; on the verge of bagging a dream assignment in a large IT company(which recruits trespassers). I believe his interview at campus, went something like this:

HR head: We are making an offer to you because you're name starts with S. Are you locationally mobile?
SW: Yes of course. I have always wanted to go out there and see the world. See real India. Sometimes I feel I was born to travel.
HR: hmm. We might have an opening in a project in Boston, which we need to fill urgently. How soon can you join us?
SW(holding back tears): If I run, I can reach the airport in 45 minutes.

Later it turned out that due to a sadistic slip of tongue, the HR head said Boston when he actually meant Bomanahalli. Soon enough, SW landed in Bangalore and thus his tryst with the South began. Never quite able to adjust to the Southern way of life, his luck too deserted him.

He spent the next one year waving his colleagues goodbye at the Bangalore International airport, going off on one on-site project after another. He was often found riding on empty airport trolleys going wheeeeeeeeeeee.

Disgusted with life, he decided there was only one thing a man could do, Go home to mama. He promptly quit his job and began searching for a new one in Delhi. He approached a large Indian private bank which recruits apes because they resemble humans. They offered him a job and promised a Delhi posting. But after a month of dilly dallying informed him that they had lost his offer letter(true incident).

Help and job less, his priorities had become clear as he approached a large FMCG company for an interview:
HR head: So what are your strengths?
SW: I can goto Delhi by road, air and bus.
....
HR: Interesting, so how did you handle the client dissatisfaction with project delays?
SW: I went to Delhi.
.....
HR: So where do you see your....no wait. Is there anything you want to ask us?
SW: Where is Qutab Minar located?
....
HR: You seem like an interesting fellow. We are making you an offer. You will be Area Manager Coastal Andhra based in Vijaywada.
SW:Isnt that in Mars? Theres no life there!
HR: Bwahahahahaha*
(*-Unknown to SW, all HR people are from Mars)

A very dejected SW reluctantly packed his bags and landed in Vijaywada. The hectic sales job soon took its toll on him. They made him travel so much that he had problems traveling to the bathroom. All the while hoping that a 'North' job will soon come his way. At one time last year, there were more resumes of SW floating than rumours of AbhiAsh wedding.

A large paint company took pity on him and gave him a job, then sent him to Delhi. SW was almost scared about how happy he was. After a few weeks of bliss they called him to say, 'Did we say Delhi, we meant Cochin actually.' With every effort to go up north, fate had cruelly sent him further down. After a few months in Cochin he decided to give it one last shot and speak to his HR. But the HR community had got wind of his condition and played upon his fears.

SW: Sir, I would like to go to a north location.
Evil HR Head no. 3- I know.
SW: You know?
Evil HR Head no. 3: I also know that Sriperembudur has excellent medu vadas.
SW: You cant do this to me. My father knows people in NHRC*
Evil HR Head no. 3: I know the HR head there.
(*-National Human Rigts Commission)
Recently when work took SW to Kanyakumari, he felt strangely at peace. He knew he simply could'nt go any further down. Today SW lives a contended man in Cochin. He has joined 'Learn Malyalam in 30 years' classes and thinks coconuts are sexy. He likes lifting his dhoti too. But sometimes in his sleep he mumbles, Dilli Chalo.